Dumpweed

It's understood, I said it many ways
To scared to stay
I said I'd leave, but I could never leave her
And if I did, you know I'd never cheat her
But this I ask, it's what I want to know
How would you feel, if I should choose to go
Another guy, you think it'd be unlikely
Another guy, you think he'd want to fight me
She's a dove, She's a fucken nightmare
Unpredictable, it was my mistake to stay here
On the go and it's way too late to play
I need a girl that I can train
I heard it once, I'm sure I heard it twice
My dad used to give me all of his advice
He would say you got to turn your back and run now
Come on son, you haven't got a chance now
She's a dove, She's a fucken nightmare
Unpredictable, it was my mistake to stay here
On the go and it's way too late to play
I need a girl that I can train
Turn your back and run now
You haven't got a chance now

Don't Leave Me

Don't leave me all alone
Just drop me off at home
I'll be fine, it's not the first
Just like last time, but a little worse
She said that I'm no the one that she thinks about and
She said it stopped being fun, I just bring her down
I said, "don't let your future be destroyed by my past."
She said, "don't let my door hit you in the ass."
One more chance, I'll try this time
I'll give you yours, I won't take mine
I'll listen up, pretend to care
Go on ahead, I'll meet you there
Let's try this one more time with feeling

Aliens Exist

Hey mom there's something in the backroom
I hope it's not the creature from above
You used to read me stories
As if my dreams were boring
We all know conspiracies are dumb
What if people knew that these were real
I'd leave my closet door open all night
I know the CIA would say
What you hear is all hearsay
I wish someone would tell me what was right
Up all night long
And there's something very wrong
And I know it must be late
Been gone since yesterday
I'm not like you guys
I'm not like you
I am still the skeptic yes you know me
Been best friends and will be till we die
I got an injection
Of fear from the abduction
My best friend thinks I'm just telling lies
Up all night long
And there's something very wrong
And I know it must be late
Been gone since yesterday
I'm not like you guys
I'm not like you
Dark and scary, ordinary, explanation
Information, nice to know ya, parnoia
Where's my mother, biofather
Up all night long
And there's something very wrong
And I know it must be late
Been gone since yesterday
I'm not like you guys
Twelve majestic lies

Going Away To College

Please take me by the hand
It's so cold out tonight
I'll put blankets on the bed
I won't turn out the light
Just don't forget to think about me
And I won't forget you
I'll write you once a week she said
Why does it feel the same
To fall in love or break it off
And if young love is just a game
Then I must have missed the kick off
Don't depend on me to ever follow through on anything
But I'd go through hell for you and
I haven't been this scared in a long time
And I'm so unprepared so here's your valentine
Bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody
This world's and ugly place, but you're so beautiful to me
I'll think about the times
She kissed me after class
And she put up with my friends
I acted like an ass
I'd ditch my lecture to watch the girls play soccer
Is my picture still hanging in her locker?

What's My Age Again?

I took her out it was Friday night
I wore cologne to get the feeling right
We started making out and she took off my pants
But then I turned on the TV
And that's about the time that she walked away from me
Nobody likes you when you're 23
And are still more amused by TV shows
What the hell is ADD?
My friends say I should act my age
What's my age again?
What's my age again?
Then later on, on the drive home
I called her mom from a pay phone
I said I was the cops
And your husband's in jail
This state looks down on sodomy
And that's about the time that bitch hung up on me
Nobody likes you when your 23
And are still more amused by prank phone calls
What the hell is caller ID?
My friends say I should act my age
What's my age again?
What's my age again?
And that's about the time she walked away from me
Nobody likes you when your 23
And you still act like you're in Freshman year
What the hell is wrong with me?
My friends say I should act my age
What's my age again?
What's my age again?
That's about the time she broke up with me
No one should take themselves so seriously
With many years ahead to fall in line
Why would you wish that on me?
I never want to act my age
What's my age again?
What's my age again?

Dysentery Gary

Got a lotta heart ache
He's a fucken weasel
His issues me my mind ache
Want to make a deal
Cause I love your little motions
You do with your pigtails
What a nice creation
Worth another night in jail
He's a player, diarrhea giver, tried to grow his hair out
When friends were listening to slayer
I would like to find him Friday night
Hanging out with mom and trying on his fathers tights
Life just sucks, I lost the one, I've giving up she found someone
There's plenty more, girls are such a drag
So all you little ladies
Be sure to choose the right guys
You'll come back to me maybe
I'll shower you with lies
Got a lotta heart ache
He's a fucken weasel
Decisions make my mind ache
Want to make a deal
Ease away the problems and the pain
The girl chose the one guy who makes you want to kick and scream
All along, you wish that she would stay
Fuck the guy who took and ran away
He's a player, diarrhea giver, tried to grow his hair out
When friends were listening to slayer
I would like to find him Friday night
Hanging out with mom and trying on his father's tights
Fuck this place, I lost the war, I hate you all, Your mom's a whore
Where's my dog?
Girls are such a drag

Adam's Song

I never thought I'd die alone
I laughed the loudest who'd have known?
I trace the cord back to the wall
No wonder it was never plugged in at all
I took my time, I hurried up
The choice was mine I didn't think enough
I'm too depressed to go on
You'll be sorry when I'm gone
I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over I'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone
I never thought I'd die alone
Another six months I'll be unknown
Give all my things to all my friends
You'll never set foot in my room again
You'll close it off, board it up
Remember the time that I spilled the cup
Of apple juice in the hall
Please tell mom this is not her fault
I never conquered, rarely came
But tomorrow holds such better days
Days when I can still feel alive
When I can't wait to get outside
The world is wide, the time goes by
The tour is over, I've survived
I can't wait till I get home
To pass the time in my room alone

All The Small Things

All the , small things
True care, truth brings
I'll take, one lift
Your ride, best trip
Always, I know
You'll be at my show
Watching, waiting, commiserating
Say it ain't so, I will not go, turn the lights off, carry me home
Na, na·
Late night, come home
Work sucks, I know
She left me roses by the stairs, surprises let me know she cares
Say it ain't so, I will not go, turn the lights off, carry me home
Na, na·
Say it ain't so, I will not go, turn the lights off, carry me home
Keep your head still, I'll be your thrill, the night will go on, my little windmill
Say it ain't so, I will not go, turn the lights off, carry me home
Keep your head still, I'll be your thrill, the night will go on, my little windmill

The Party Song

Do you want to come to a party
My friends picked me up in their truck at 11:30
This things at a frat house but the people are cool there
Reluctant I followed but never dreamed there
Would be someone there who would catch my attention
I wasn't out looking for love or affection
So I paid my 3 and the girls got in free
Shine the beer and tequila and we headed into the party
And then in the backyard some terrible ska band
Someone in the background was doing a keg stand
This place is so lame all these girls look the same
All thse guys have no game I wish I would have stayed
In my bed back at home watching TV alone
Where I'd put on some porn or have sex on the phone
Far from people I hate down from anywhere state
Trying to intoxicate girls to give them head after the party
And then I saw her standing there
With green eyes and long blond hair
She wasn't wearing underwear at least I prayed that
She might be the one maybe we'd have some fun
Maybe we'd watch the sun rise
But that night I learned some girls try too hard
Some girls try too hard
Some girls try too hard to impress
With the way that they dress
With those things on their chests
And the things they suggest to me
I couldn't believe what this lady was saying
The names she was dropping the games she was playing
She dated this guy who now rides for Black Flys
How she's down with the Îwise well constructed disguise
Now I'd rather go dateless than stay here and hate this
Her volume of makeup her fake tits were tasteless
So I said I'd call her but never would bother
Until I got turned down by another girl at a party
So when you see her standing there
With green eyes and long blonde hair
She won't be wearing underwear and you'll discover
This girl's not the one and she'll never be fun
You should just turn and run because you'll find out that
Some girls try too hard
Some girls try too hard to impress with the way that they dress
With those things on their chest
And the things they suggest to me

Mutt

He pauses shaving and he tells himself that he is the bomb
She has her curlers set her credit cards are paying the funds
He's not that old, I've been told a strong sexual goal
He goes out everyday she goes every way oh yeah
And they don't even care at all
She's open waiting for more
And I know he's only looking to score
And it is way to unhealthy
Often they've typically
Been starved for attention before
She smokes a dozen and he doesn't seem to notice the smell
He took the seat off his own bike because the way it felt
He wants to bone this I know she is ready to blow
They go out every night his pants are super tight oh yeah
And they don't even care at all
She's open waiting for more
And I know he's only looking to score
And it is way too unhealthy
Often they've typically
Been starved for attention before

Wendy Clear*

Let's take the boat out on the bay forget your job for just one day
I wish it didn't have to be so bad
It might be inappropriate because
Either way our band get dropped
I wish it didn't have to be so bad
But I'd play with fire to break the ice
And I'd play with nuclear device
Is it something I'll regret?
Why do I want what I can't get?
I wish it didn't have to be so bad
The three-date theory is getting old everyone is getting left out in the cold
I wish it didn't have to be so bad
So I'll see you with another guy
Who pretends not to hear you when you cry
I wish it didn't have to be so bad
I'll be moving on

Anthem

Home show, mom won't know
Run out the back door
He's passed out on the floor
Third time, been caught twice
Forgive our neighbor Bob
I think he humped the dog
But good things come to those who wait
Cause she laid me
And mom and dad posses the key ö instant slavery
No need to explain the plan no need to even bother
I'll pack my bags I swear I'll run ö wish my friends were 21
White lies, bloodshot eyes
Breath of alcohol, stole it from the mall
How's Chris marked with lipstick
Better call their fathers, sleeping with your daughters
But good thing come to those who wait
Cause she laid me
And mom and dad possess the key ö instant slavery
No need to explain the plan no need to even bother
I'll pack my bags I swear I'll run ö wish my friends were 21
You don't belong, you left the kids carry on
You planned their fall
To bad you're wrong, don't need a mom dad slave drive song
I time bomb
Turn low the radio, I think I hear my dad
Yelling at the band
But good things come to those who wait
Cause she laid me
And mom and dad posses the key ö instant slavery
No need to explain the plan no need to even bother
I'll pack my bags I swear I'll run ö wish my friends were 21
You don't belong, you left the kids carry on
You planned their fall
To bad you're wrong, don't need a mom dad slave drive song
I Time bomb